So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize