i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think my moral compass just broke
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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