There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
