sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize