Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
