16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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