you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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