I heard we made out
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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