listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
