I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
