I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
