Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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