sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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