Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
