Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
