I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
