hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
