went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize