AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
