You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
