she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
