so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
