I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
