I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize