It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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