I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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