We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
