ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
