A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
