so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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