Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
