I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
