Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
