i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
3 2 1 whiskey
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
