Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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