question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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