one two three fourrrrnication!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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