YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
