Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
