He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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