He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
