I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
