My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
