The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
