so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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