I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
