Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
