I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
