I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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