Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
