My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
