is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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