what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
