Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
