I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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