I will die if light touches me.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
