it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
