I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize